Marriage on Earth as It Is in Heaven | Discipleship, Covenant, and Kingdom Living

Let’s talk about marriage.  

As a single Christian woman until the age of 44, I’ve had the unique privilege of living both single and married—and I feel compelled to speak to both. Being single can be lonely at times, but it is also a beautiful and powerful position to be in as a disciple of Jesus Christ.

When I finally placed my faith, hope, trust, and full commitment in my Lord—my Savior, Comforter, Counselor, Friend… and Husband, Jesus—everything changed. I looked forward to waking up and spending time with Him. He walked with me, He talked with me, and He led me in the way I should go in every aspect of my life. This is the foundation of true discipleship and the heart of Christ-centered, Spirit-led living.

Today, I can see even more clearly where the Apostle Paul is coming from in 1 Corinthians 7:40:

“In my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this.”

My caveat—and it’s an important one—is this: if you cannot, or do not, find a man who is as sold out for the Lord as you are, marriage may be a struggle. If he is not following Jesus when you meet him, marriage will require navigating divided priorities. Scripture is clear when Paul says,

“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1)

If a man can look you in the eyes and say that he follows Jesus with complete integrity, and you have seen it lived out, hold onto that man. But not before you’ve witnessed his dedication to a life of discipleship. Over the years, through biblical discipleship coaching, I’ve walked alongside many Christian women who are in difficult marriages because their husbands either do not believe in Jesus or believe but do not follow Him. They are not practicing The Way of Jesus.

Just as I had fully embraced and even grown excited about my life as a single woman, the Lord brought (my now husband) Paul John into my life. On paper, this was not an ideal match. Paul is ten years younger, we come from very different backgrounds, and many would have advised me he wasn't a fit. But I had never met a man more sold out for Jesus than I was. He didn’t just talk the talk, he walked the walk. With every conversation, I learned more about Jesus, and we shared a common vision for our lives as disciples of Christ.

The Holy Spirit confirmed clearly that this was “the one” when my specific prayers had been answered regarding whom I would marry, IF I ever married.  Only God and I knew the prayers that I prayed, so when he sent Paul into my life, I recognized him as my husband immediately.  I was 44 years old and was finally joined to him.  I can confidently say he was worth the wait and I'm glad I didn't compromise by hitching myself to any man who had come before him.  And, if a Christ-following man had never come along, I would have remained joyfully single, hitched only to Jesus for the rest of my life.  Being single can be a blessing and a gift.  See my entry about the Apostle to the Apostles, Mary Magdalene.

Marriage as God Designed It

Scripture tells us in Genesis 2:24:

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Another translation says a man will cleave to his wife. To cleave means to cling to, adhere to, and attach oneself with deep commitment. The same is true for the Kingdom woman. We cleave to our husbands, so we must be very discerning about who we attach ourselves to for a lifetime.

Imagine binding your life to someone walking in a completely different direction. A Kingdom woman seeks a Kingdom man so they can walk toward and in God’s Kingdom together. When one is living for the world and the other for the Kingdom, conflict is inevitable—in marriage, parenting, finances, time management, and purpose.

But marriage is more than partnership. God designed marriage as a living picture of something eternal.

Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:25–27:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… to present her to himself as a radiant church.”

And again in Ephesians 5:32:

“This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”

Marriage, at its best, reflects heaven on earth. The church is the Bride of Christ. She submits to Him, not out of fear, but out of love and trust, just as a wife submits to her husband as he lovingly leads. This is not about control; it is about covenant. When marriage is rooted in discipleship, it becomes a testimony of Jesus and His love for the church.  Jesus is a leader worth following, and a husband should be too.

Hope for Difficult Marriages

I have also witnessed God do miraculous work in marriages where Kingdom women stayed the course.

1 Peter 3:1 says:

“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the Word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.”

I’ve seen this lived out. A dear friend of mine became a disciple of Christ while her husband showed very little interest. Without preaching or persuading, she simply walked faithfully with Jesus, day by day. She was in the Word, attending church, studying Scripture, growing in her faith, and even got baptized. Five years later, her husband followed her into the faith. Today, he attends church with her, serves on the worship team, prays at every meal, and has stepped into his role as leader of the home.  

As disciples who make disciples, we influence our marriages through the power of the Holy Spirit. As we are washed by the Word and keep Jesus first, our marriages can be transformed, becoming marriages on earth as they are in heaven.

If you find yourself married to a non-believer, or to a believing man who is not yet a disciple, there is hope in Jesus. Jesus Himself said:

“You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” (John 14:14)
“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” (John 15:7)

This echoes what I shared in my reflection on Asking, Abiding, and the Works of Jesus — that belief, abiding, and asking are central to Kingdom living and discipleship. So ask. Ask boldly for a husband who follows Jesus, a man worth imitating as he imitates Christ.

And whatever season you find yourself in—single or married—keep your eyes fixed on Him.
Live faithfully on earth as it will be in heaven.